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Sunday, 05 April 2015 01:56

50 Rules For A Happy Marriage

Tips and advice from couples who're nailing it every day.

With the divorce rate mighty high and marriage the butt of every sitcom joke, it's hard to believe that there are couples out there who are happy, in love and totally enjoying the marriage thing.

But as wedding season hot up, it's always nice to hear from couples navigating the tricky waters of matrimony and enjoying the trip.

So researchers have asked 2,000 happily married Brits (yes it seems there are that many!) what makes their marriages happy - and they've revealed the 50 most important things for marital bliss.

And as well as the Big Things such as trust, sense of humor and honesty, it seems like it really is the little things too - remembering to say 'I love you' regularly, always kissing goodnight and holding hands when you're out and about.

And time apart also came through as a vital part of happy relationships. Having some different interests and hobbies and knowing when to give each other space were both in the top 25, and regularly having nights out WITHOUT each other made the list too.

But a more jealous undercurrent runs through some of the recommendations, including sharing social media passwords and not being friends with ANY exes on Facebook.

Andy Gibney, author of How to Seduce Your Wife (or Anyone Else’s) said: “Trust, compromise and honesty are generally regarded as the most important things in a marriage, but for most people, it’s not that simple.

“In the modern world, marriages are having to survive against a host of new technology with many couple falling out over what to watch on the TV or one or both of you spending too much time focusing on your computers, tablets or mobile phones.”

But however happy your married, protecting yourself first is vital it seems. At number 50, that involves having a stash of secret cash in case of emergencies!

Andy Gibney, author of How to Seduce Your Wife (or Anyone Else’s) said: “Trust, compromise and honesty are generally regarded as the most important things in a marriage, but for most people, it’s not that simple.

“In the modern world, marriages are having to survive against a host of new technology with many couple falling out over what to watch on the TV or one or both of you spending too much time focusing on your computers, tablets or mobile phones.”

But however happy your married, protecting yourself first is vital it seems. At number 50, that involves having a stash of secret cash in case of emergencies!

So here is the full list:

1. Trusting each other
2. Same sense of humor
3. Always being honest with each other
4. Remember birthdays and anniversaries
5. Accepting each other’s faults
6. Compromising
7. Saying ‘I love you’ regularly
8. Knowing when to say sorry
9. Being able to laugh at each other
10. Having a similar outlook on life
11. Regular hugs/cuddles
12. Always kiss each other goodnight
13. The occasional romantic gesture
14. Considering your partner to be your best friend
15. Sharing the parenting duties
16. Always kiss each other goodbye in the mornings
17. Having some shared hobbies and interests
18. Always talk about a problem rather than bottling it up
19. Ask each other about their day
20. Regular sex
21. Having some different hobbies and interests
22. Knowing when to give each other some space
23. Never going to sleep on an argument
24. Regular holidays/mini breaks
25. Having similar aims and ambitions
26. Having the odd argument or disagreement
27. Continuing to make an effort to look nice for your partner
28. Getting on with each other’s family
29. Setting aside quality time for each other
30. Holding hands when you are out and about
31. Regularly complimenting each other
32. Having your own friends as well as mutual friends
33. Two TVs in the house
34. Getting on with each other’s friends
35. Each having a car
36. Still shaving/grooming
37. Each having equal share of the lie-ins when you have children
38. Separate bank accounts
39. Having regular nights out with friends, without your partner
40. Surprise gifts/presents
41. Not being friends with ANY ex-partners on Facebook
42. A Rota to divide up the household chores
43. Regular date nights
44. Two bathrooms/toilets
45. Not having one person hogging the remote control
46. Similar working hours
47. Knowing each other’s passcode for their phone
48. A secret stash of cash they know nothing about
49. Keeping some things private (not going to the toilet in front of each other etc.)
50. A night or two a week where neither of you use computers/laptops/phones etc.

Do you agree?

 

Saturday, 29 November 2014 18:42

Words From Father To A Son About Marriage

1. My son, if you keep spending on a woman and she never asked you if you’re saving or investing, and she keeps enjoying the attention, don’t marry her.

2. My son, a woman could be a good wife to you, some could be a good mother to your children but if you’ve found a woman like a mother to you, your children and your family, please don’t let her go.
 
3. My son, don’t confine the position of your wife to the kitchen, where did you get that from? Even in our days, we had farm-lands where they worked every morning . . . that was our office.
 
4. My son, if I tell you that you’re the head of the house, don’t look at your pocket; look if you will see a smile on your wife’s face.
 
5. My son, if you want to have a long life, let your wife be in-charge of your salary, it will be difficult for her to spend it when she’s aware of the home needs and bills to pay but if it’s in your care, she will keep you asking even when all has been spent.
 
6. My son, don’t ever beat your woman, the pain in her body is nothing to be compared to the wound on her heart and that means you may be in trouble living with a wounded woman.
 
7. My son, now that you’re married, if you live a bachelor kind of life with your wife, you will soon be single again.
 
8. My son, in our days, we had many wives and many children because of our large farm-lands and many harvests, there are hardly any land for farming anymore, so embrace your woman closely.
 
9. My son, under the cocoa tree that I did meet your mother could be your eateries and restaurants of nowadays, but remember, the closet thing we did there was to embrace each other.
 
10. My son, don’t be carried away when you start making more money, instead of spending on those tiny legs that never knew how hard you worked to get it, spend it on that woman that stood by you all along.
 
11. My son, when I threw little stones or whistled at the window of your mother father’s house, to call her out, it was not for sex, it was because I missed her so much.

12. My son, remember, when you say your wife has changed, there could be something you’ve stopped doing too.

13. My son, your mother, Asake rode the bicycle with me before I bought that tortoise car outside there, any woman that won’t endure with you in your little beginning should not enjoy your riches.
 
14. My son, don’t compare your wife to any woman, there are ways she’s enduring you too and has she ever compared you to any man?
 
15. My son, there is this thing you people call feminism, well, if a woman claim to have equal right with you in the house, divide all the bills into two equal parts, take one part and ask her to start paying the other part.
 
16. My son, I met your mother a virgin and I took more yams to her father, if you don’t meet your wife a virgin, don’t blame her, what I didn’t tell you is that our women had prestige.
 
17. My son, I didn’t send your sisters to school because I was foolish like many to think a female child won’t extend my family name, please don’t make that mistake, the kind of female achievers I see nowadays has made the male-gender an ordinary tag.
 
18. My son, your mother have once locked up the cloth I was wearing and almost tore it because she was angry, I did not raise my hand to beat her because of a day like this, so that I can be proud to tell you that I never for once beat your mother.
 
19. My son, in our days, our women had more of natural beauty, though I wouldn’t lie to you, some had minor painting of their appellation mostly on their arms, the ones you people now call tattoo, but don’t forget that they didn’t expose any part of their body like your women of nowadays.
 
20. My son, your mother and I are not interested in what happens in your marriage, try to handle issues without always coming to us.
 
21. My son, remember I bought your mother’s first sewing machine for her, help your wife achieve her dreams just as you’re pursuing yours.
 
22. My son, don’t stop taking care of me and your mother, it’s a secret of growing old and having children to take care of you too.
 
23. My son, pray with your family, there is a tomorrow you don’t know, talk to God that knows everything, everyday.
 


.

 

 

Wednesday, 26 November 2014 21:12

10 Guys You Should Never Marry

Every little girl looks forward to her wedding day. They can't wait to meet the Prince Charming who will sweep them off their feet. But, as you grow older, you realize that nobody's perfect. Your dreams of marrying Prince Charming become dashed away as quickly as the movie ended. So instead of looking for Mr. Perfect, you look for the one who his perfect for you.

As you look for Mr. Right, you try to look past some of bad traits so you can see all the good ones. This is good. It shows that you're not shallow. But, despite how shallow it might seem, there are some guys you should just leave in the dating pool. Here are 10:

 The Commitment-Phobe

Finally locked down the guy every girl's been chasing? Well, I got news for you. Just because he finally decided to knuckle down and commit, doesn't mean he's committed. If he used to be a commitment-phobe, he may still be and you'll always wonder how invested in the relationship he really is.

 The Rebel

A lot of women are attracted to the bad boy. There's just something mysterious and romantic about him. But a lot of times the rebel in society is a rebel in marriage. And pretty soon you'll find him rebelling against you, too.

 The Narcissist

Narcissus was an ancient Greek mythological figure who was so beautiful that he fell in love with himself — but because he couldn't leave his own reflection in the water, he eventually drowned. A person who is a narcissist is so convinced of their own greatness that they don't see their weaknesses. Marrying a narcissist is a very one sided relationship. They're always trying to vaunt their own greatness — often at the expense of others.

 The Control Freak

Everybody likes to have things their own way. Unfortunately, because men are socialized to express hostility and anger when they don't get what they want, a man who is a control freak can often become intimidating and even abusive (physically or mentally).

 The I-know-more-than-you

It's a good thing to marry a person for his brains. But be careful because you might end up marrying a know-it-all. And you'll always feel like you're wrong — even if it's just an opinion.

 The Mama's Boy

You've heard that how a man treats his mother is how he'll treat you. So you look for a guy who is close to his mom and spends a lot of time with her. But be careful, if he's too close you'll find yourself married to his mother, too. So you better get used to hearing, "My mom doesn't do it that way." And you better get used to his mother being your marriage counselor, too.

 The Pretty Boy

Get used to spending your weekends at the mall looking for new clothes instead of going to soccer practice. But at least you'll have a great looking house and car (even if you can't afford it).

 The Pushover

As mentioned before, everybody likes to have their own way. So when you find a guy who lets you do whatever you want and doesn't complain about it, you want to grab him up. But after a while you'll find yourself making all the decisions. And then you'll find yourself complaining because he doesn't pull his own weight.

 The Manly Man

This guy talks about sports, beer and hunting all the time. Sure, he's rugged but you better be prepared to change all the diapers and do all the housework. And forget about him getting you something nice for Valentine's Day because real men don't do that mushy stuff.

 The Fitness Feak

Who doesn't want a guy with chiseled abs and nice arms? But despite all his good (physical) traits you may soon find that the gym is taking up an exorbitant amount of time in your family's life. And you'll find yourself using phrases like "did you beat your PR today, honey?" But more importantly, a man who lets the gym run his life has let the servant become the master and you'll soon find that he has other priorities out of whack, too.

Yes, there are bits and pieces of these personality traits in every Prince Charming. But just make sure they're only bits and pieces or you'll find yourself married to a frog instead of a Prince.

 

Niecy Nash definitely isn’t shy about what she believes keeps a married man happy. According to Niecy’s philosophy, which we were first introduced to via her book, It’s Hard To Fight Naked,  frequent blow jobs and home-cooked meals help set the tone for a happy marriage. She further explained her theory and answered other sex and relationship questions during a recent interview with Playboy.

On her one blow job per day theory:

“What I say in the book is, ‘A BJ a day keeps the divorce attorney away’ and I say that because I feel like men are profoundly simplistic, which is the reason I wanted to call my book what I used as the title of chapter three, which is, ‘Stomach Full, Penis Empty: A Woman’s Guide to a Happy Marriage.’ Keeping him fed and drained, you have no problem. We are really more complicated than they are and I think that women are more generous with oral sex because we nurture by nature. We want to be pleasing by nature, that’s in our DNA, so I think that a lot of the behavior we’re looking for sexually, you might have to educate your partner. Sometimes, men just assume they’re going to get it and you need to be like, ‘Give me mine. Ladies first.'”

On many women being unable to communicate their sexual needs:

“What’s so interesting is that [women are] more willing to have conversations about ‘Do you want to get married? Where do you see this relationship going? Do you want to have children?’ than we are to ask, ‘What kind of sex do you like? What are you into there?’ You know what I mean? And that’s a conversation that a lot of people dive into but if you’re going to be with someone for the rest of your life and they’re failing to meet your sexual needs is like doing a slow dance with death. We need to make sure we can meet right there in the middle. The best thing that could have ever happened to me, and I was so fearful when I did it, was I got my tubes tied and had a hysterectomy. It gives me and my husband a different liberty — we can do what we do anytime, anywhere, at a moment’s notice. So that’s a sidebar into my situation, but I can get the party started.”

On how men should approach women they want to date vs women they want to hook up with:

“I feel like, in a perfect world, honesty would be the new monogamy so when you are meeting someone you kind of just put out there what you’re looking for. There is always somebody who wants to do it the way you want to do it, ‘I don’t want to settle down, I’m just looking to have fun.’ Oh okay, show that to five girls at least one of them is going to be like, ‘Okay, let me give you my number.’ As opposed to acting like you want something else just for them to entertain you and then you’re truth being revealed later.”

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